January 8, 2010


An e-mail doing the rounds today - a day filled with boredom of the highest order


You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.


You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.


You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.


You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.


You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

Softwarism:(Ultimate. ...):

Client has 2 cows and you need to milk them.

1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off).

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan).

3 . Prepare a document on exactly how to milk them (Design).

4 . Prepare a list of other accessories needed to milk them (Framework).

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which you will milk them (UI Mockups & POC).

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2.

7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few problems with accessories (Change framework).

8 . Redo step 4

9 . At last milk them and send it onsite (Coding over).

10. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing).

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls.

13. At last milk them onsite and send to client (Testing).

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test).

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk.

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but milking is at slow rate (performance issue).

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the cows are aged and can't milk at all. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

I don't know if it is funny or disgusting or what. It's just good timepass to read.
(Disclaimer: Not all of the ideas expressed above are endorsed by the author of the blog)

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